Kim, Jae Won

[Jae Won Kim]

[classy=apptitle] KIM, JAE WON [/classy][classy=appbord][/classy][classy=appbg][classy=appalias] [/classy]

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[classy=appimg][/classy][classy=appfield] AGE :: [/classy]
16, September 21st

[classy=appfield] GENDER :: [/classy]
Male

[classy=appfield] SEXUALITY :: [/classy]
Heterosexual

[classy=appfield] NATIONALITY :: [/classy]
Korean

[classy=appfield] FACTION :: [/classy]
Mafioso

[classy=appfield] OCCUPATION :: [/classy]
Student

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[classy=appfield] PERSONALITY :: [/classy]
Jae is a very carefree person. He loves to have fun all the time, but is extremely lazy when it comes to work. You assign him an essay, he'll go to class next day weaseling his way out of not doing it. One can see him on a computer playing the latest game or outside underneath a tree, chilling with some food next to him.

He's trustworthy, kind, and comedic. He can crack a joke even in the tensest of situations, but still understand when to stop. Also, while he may not look it, he is actually very perceptive and can notice things most others can't without focusing on it. For example, he can see a red wine stain on a shirt of similar color and he can determine liars by simple facial expressions or hand motions. He is also very shy and won't open up to people that easily. To others, he'll seem like a delinquent and/or a playboy with his usual attire.

If he get's angry or if someone brings up a taboo subject, his normally calm and childish demeanor changes dramatically. His usual calm and cheerful gaze turns into a rigid and ice cold glare. His voice turns caustic and he'll want to fight to vent out his anger.

Along with is perceptiveness, he is also very inquisitive. He will stop at nothing to find out some sort of secret or mystery. This has gotten him in a few dilemmas, but he managed to get out of them.

[classy=appfield] LIKES :: [/classy]

[classy=appfield] DISLIKES :: [/classy]

[classy=appfield] MISC INFO :: [/classy]
-Very fit and naturally flexible. Knows basic fighting skills through street fighting a lot.
-Usually wears a T-shirt with a dress shirt or hoodie over it, jeans, and sneakers. He also has glasses, but they're more for show than for actually helping him see. He also has a simple, gold ring and a silver chain necklace. Rarely wears suits.
-Is frighteningly afraid of cats and bugs due to past experiences with them.
-Addicted to lollipops.
-www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU_-XNTUd3A&feature=BFa&list=PL0BD55B80B4D902F6 <-Perfect theme for my character!

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[classy=appfield] FACE CLAIM :: [/classy]
★ [b]Fairy Tail[/b], [i]Loke/Leo[/i]
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[classy=appfield] AGE :: [/classy]
I'm 16.

[classy=appfield] EXPERIENCE :: [/classy]
I've been RPing for about... A good 2-3 years. However, I've only had about a year's worth of experience with real RPing.

[classy=appfield] DISCOVERY :: [/classy]
Through an OP RP site.

[classy=appfield] OTHER CHARACTERS :: [/classy]
N/A

[/classy][/classy][classy=appbord2][/classy][classy=appsign] SIGNED, XANA [/classy]

[classy=appcr] TEMPLATE BY AUXILLE FOR ONS [/classy]

[Jae Won Kim]

[classy=apptitle] INVENTORY CHECK [/classy][classy=appbord][/classy][classy=appbg][classy=appalias]Torrent's Requiem[/classy]

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[classy=appfield] AFFILIATION :: [/classy]
Rain Guardian of the Osservatore Family

[classy=appfield]ALIGNMENT ::[/classy]
Neutral Good

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[classy=appfield] FLAME ATTRIBUTE & ABILITIES :: [/classy]
Rain Flames:
-Freezing Flames:
Jae can form semi-hardened flames along with his usual soft flames. This has many appliances, but Jae mainly uses it as a makeshift bandage. However, when doing so, it will only cover the outside and slow down the blood flow for a short time. These hardened Rain Flames are not as hard as actual ice, but are solid and sturdy enough to hold on better than regular bandages.

[classy=appfield] BOX WEAPON :: [/classy]
Gloves of Tranquility: These gloves are basically dark-blue, fingerless gloves with metal studs on the knuckles. On the backside of them is an engraving of a droplet of water. These gloves can be used to enhance the strength of Jae's flames and his Freezing Flames ability. He can create 9" claws through the metal studs circling around his knuckles using the Freezing Flame ability. This metal is capable of hardening flames to a certain degree and when combined with Jae's Freezing Flame ability, he can make the claws as hard as steel. However, they serve no purpose as a long-range attacking weapon.

[classy=appfield] BOX ANIMAL :: [/classy]
Rain Dog: Snow
-This box animal is basically a Siberian husky, only it has rain flames coming out of its front shoulders. This animal was based off of Jae's pet that had died a couple years back. It can propel itself by using the flames coming out of its shoulders. It can also coat its claws and fangs with rain flames. When it hits a person, the person will have the wound and will feel numb in that area. Unfortunately, he's not much of a help with long-range fights.

[classy=appfield] EQUIPMENT :: [/classy]
Tranquilizer Gun: It's basically a regular pistol, custom made with a silencer, an extended magazine capable of holding 25 pellets, and a built-in scope. It can't shoot regular bullets and can only shoot custom-made tranquilizing pellets. These pellets are designed to have tranquilizer fluid in them. They go slower than a regular bullet, but explode when it impacts, spreading the liquid around a foot radius. It can also shoot another type of pellet; it's basically like a regular bullet, only a lot more smaller. It goes faster than a regular bullet and can cause a lot of damage if hit directly with it. However, it can't pierce through things thicker than a 2x4 plank of wood. It needs to be cocked back every time it shoots.

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[classy=appfield] MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS :: [/classy]
-Glasses: A memento from his life before the mafia got involved in it.
-Silver necklace: A memento from his dead father, who died when he was 3. Acts as a compressor of flames whenever it touches Jae, but he doesn't know.
-Gold ring: A memento from his dead mother, who died through a sickness when he was 12. Has no compatibility with flames; just a sentimental item.
-Seemingly infinite supply of lollipops: He seems have them all around his body. They can be found in places like pockets to even places like in his shoes.

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[classy=appcr] TEMPLATE BY AUXILLE FOR ONS [/classy]

[SPOT]

[classy=threadbg][classy=maintitle] JUST A FEW FIXES [/classy][classy=border][/classy][classy=textwall]

» I'd like to see his personality fleshed out a little more, you mention all these traits, but do not dedicate much time to them. One way to broaden a personality is to take a one, or two personality traits (if they fit with each other), and dedicate a few sentences to them. If he is funny then tell us what his style of humor he has, how far does he take it, is he joking, and nonsensical all the time, or can he take things seriously. do you like all the commas, I'm using?

Or for example you say he lazy well is it that he just doesn't like to do things, or just doesn't see it as his problem to do them? Does his laziness extend to such a degree that he is apathetic? I'm not trying to pick on you, its just I've been seeing a lot of short personalities, and I know people can do a lot better. Hell we're all here to write, have fun, and be creative, I know you can extend his personality to further quirky, lovable character.

» Ok, as far as abilities go I think you got a little carried away with the freezing aspect. Honestly freezing is not a huge factor as far as rain flames go. Being blunt we've only seen frozen rain flames once, and only in one technique so I think its safe to say its not a normal occurrence. To me if it happens in the anime, and not the manga then its not canon.

I'm not saying its not possible to use ice in rain flame techniques I just don't think a rain users entire arsenal would be composed of such a thing. Also, what we saw was rain flames being frozen. or actually being hardened, not rain flames which could freeze which you have in your application. I think this is a big point to make, the series never mentioned Rain Flames freezing but being hardened in the Yamamoto vs Asari fight which is the only instance this is seen. Freezing is not an attribute, nor ability of the Rain Flames, its just that pre-existing Rain Flames can be frozen, or harden.

Sorry, over explaining things, just wanting to explain it out instead of being an ass and saying NO YOU CANNOT DO THIS. To summarize no, you cannot create ice out of thin air like you have here as that is a property of Glacier, not Rain Flames. While you can if you wish have one technique in which you can harden your rain flames.

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[SPOT]

[classy=threadbg][classy=maintitle] JUST A FEW FIXES [/classy][classy=border][/classy][classy=textwall]

» Alright I see you edited, and added to the personality which is good, but you haven't made too many changes to the abilities which on the flip side isn't too great. You're abilities still revolve around a freezing aspect, and that just isn't gonna fly. You still seemingly can create constructions out of ice out of the blue which wouldn't even be allowed if you were hardening rain flames, and you insist that you're box animal can freeze things somehow with rain flames. I really think you're confusing Rain Flames with Glacier, and are unsure about the capabilities of Rain Flames.

You were told you could have one technique with hardened/"frozen" rain flames, and that having your whole arsenal abilities was unlikely. The only ability I see that is fine hardening rain flames that are touching your body but that character should have move to it than that.. If you need ideas for true Rain Flame abilities/techniques I'd recommend looking at other applications who use such flames.Since the changes were not made I'm gonna allow Cipher, or R to take over the review, and insist that the freezing aspect not be allowed since it is non-canon, an anime-only feature that was only seen once.

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[CIPHER]

[classy=threadbg][classy=maintitle] HMM... [/classy][classy=border][/classy][classy=textwall]

After much deliberation with R, we see Jae's abilities as more of Glacier attribute, rather than the Frozen property that Rain users can utilize. I know I'm usually laid back with profiles, but the Frozen property of the Rain attribute, like I said, frazzles me and needs a bit of trial and error before we can get it just right... I apologize if the process can get a bit lengthy; this tells me I should really put up our in-depth descriptions on Dying Will Flames...
-fidgets-

001. FLAME ATTRIBUTE & ABILITIES
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Asari Ugetsu, the first person able to use hardened Rain Flames, was only shown using the Frozen property to harden one of his attacks. I see Jae's Main Flame ability doing the same thing, but to make it his main "theme" makes him look like a Glacier Guardian rather than a Rain Guardian, who uses the tranquil property more than the Frozen property. (.__."

Now I see two or three abilities for his Main Flame, rather than the one ability that I allowed? Ability to deflect attacks, numbing his senses, and the bandage thing you mentioned to me a few days ago. Please choose one? Wouldn't be fair if I allowed all three as one ability... :(

Also, you can only freeze Rain Flames, not actual liquid~ o__o;
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002. BOX WEAPON
[classy=bq2]
Secondly, if I read this correctly, his gloves can take shape of different weapons using the Frozen property, yes? I decided a couple of days ago, after a member brought it up, that this ability can only allow you to create one weapon because it isn't fair to others when they're stuck with one weapon set, while you're allowed to shape different weapons...
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003. BOX ANIMAL
[classy=bq2]
Your Box Animal is a-okay though! No problems with him, and he also uses the tranquil property! -thumbs up-
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004. EQUIPMENT
[classy=bq2]
Tranquilizing bullets? From what I read they sound like paintballs that can pierce skin if you infuse them with the Frozen property... If anything, you could make them into tranquilizing darts, where you fill them with Rain Flames so that, upon impact, tranquilize your opponents with Rain Flames rather than actual tranquilizing liquid? Just a thought, since they sound similar to Dying Will bullets (but Dying Will bullets don't pierce the skin). :c

I'm trying to say it seems a little OP that they can pierce skin (like kill someone?) and tranquilize what it hits. ;__;
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[CIPHER]

[classy=threadbg][classy=maintitle] APPROVED BY CIPHER [/classy][classy=border][/classy][classy=textwall]

Yeeeeeeeeeah, let's party~


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